Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The breaking news regarding DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) this morning caused me to pause from  cleaning house and think of Mom. Why? Because Mom was way ahead of her time when it came to equality for all.

First off, when I was 9 years old and living on base housing, a black family moved across the street from us and they had a daughter, Angela, who was my age. I was so excited to have a new friend! We played for hours, mostly with barbies but we also loved to help her dad clean fish and I had my first taste of turtle soup. I remember watching that man cut up that turtle and almost cried but I ate it, just like I ate those frog legs when my grandpa and dad would go out "gigging" for frogs and then tell me I was eating chicken, only later did I learn what it really was!

But anyway, I digress...after a few months of playing with Angela, I noticed a few of my other friends were not coming around so I finally asked one of them why and she told me. Their moms would not let them play with me anymore because I played with Angela. I told my mom about it and years later she told me about the phone call she made to all those other moms! I never knew my mom had such fire!

Then,  years later, the same thing happened to my mom! She became a runner and met a woman and they started running together. This woman was gay! Mom had friends drop her because she was hanging out with a lesbian and "wasn't she worried people would think she was one too"? My mother laughed and said "Don't be ridiculous, being homosexual is not a choice". I had never heard anyone else put it that way and now we all know better. Thanks again Mom...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Happy Father's Day! I read a rant this morning from someone on FB blasting others for posting pictures and comments on this day. This person lost their father a couple of years ago. As you  know, I lost my best friend and mother a year ago. I would never begrudge anyone honoring their mother on this special day.

Who I do resent this day is my own father. I have a father that I was never close to and now feel extreme guilt over the fact that I don't spend enough time with. I don't know why. He doesn't pick up the phone to call me, only when he needs something. I call him almost daily now, take him food, take him to doctors appointments. Don't get my wrong, I don't mean to bitch about this situation, he is my father and I honor that. He is not a mean man. Part of me thinks he is bi-polar or crazy but I just think he was raised in a time where you didn't show emotion.  Jim and I watched "This is 40" the other night and I laughed watching the young Apatow actress start cussing at her parents as I remember the first time I did this to my dad. He showed no emotion ever, so as I entered the difficult years, I tried anything to get a rise out of him, like calling him a "fucking asshole" more than once! He did not react, only ended up not speaking to me at one time for almost two years.

My father did not attend my wedding. This is a pain I have gotten over but will never forget. How I long for a picture to post today of my dad walking me down the aisle but that did not happen. But please, friends, continue to post your photos as they bring a smile to my face. And even though at times, my daughter fights and yells and screams at her dad, I know that one day she will have her own picture to share and I will smile through my tears.